Ever wonder what happens . . .

When Hallmark writers are having a bad day . . . . .

My tire was thumping. 
I thought it was flat.


When I looked at the tire. 
I noticed your cat. 
Sorry!



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Heard your wife left you, 
How upset you must be. 


But don't fret about it.. 
She moved in with me.



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Looking back over the years that we've been together, 

I can't help but wonder . . . 


"What the heck was I thinking?"



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Congratulations on your wedding day! 


Too bad no one likes your husband.





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How could two people as beautiful as you 


Have such an ugly baby?

 


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I 've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. 


After having met you . . . I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.


I never believed in Hell until I met you.




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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... 


That you're not here to ruin it for me.




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Congratulations on your promotion. 


Before you go . . .


Would you like to take this knife out of my back? 


You'll probably need it again.



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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!


(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia )

 

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Happy birthday!

You look great for your age. 


Almost Lifelike! 



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When we were together, 
you always said you'd die for me. 


Now that we've broken up, 
I think it's time you kept your promise.







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We have been friends for a very long time.

Let's say we stop? 





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I 'm so miserable without you 
it's almost like you're here.



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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. 


Did you ever find out who the father was? 



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Your friends and I wanted to do 
something special for your birthday. 


So we're having you put to sleep.