Relationship Humor

Wife:   'What are you doing?'

Husband :   Nothing.
Wife :   'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband :   'I was looking for the expiration date.' 

------------------------------- 

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.' 

------------------------------- 

Wife:     'You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?'
Hubby:   'When there is a problem, no matter how great, 

              I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife:     'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby:   'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself 

               what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
----------------------------------------------------

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, 

        troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 

------------------------------

Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, 

          he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son:   'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
________________________________ 

A newly married man asked his wife, 

'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'  

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 

'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 

---------------------------------------------------- 

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the warning.' 

------------------------------- 

A wife asked her husband: 

'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor'.