A New Breed of Thieves!!

In checking this one out, The only thing I found was “Possible, but not common”. But if it happens to you – common enough!!

New way of STEALING... Quite interesting
This is a new one. People sure stay busy
Trying to cheat us, don't they?

SCENE 1. 
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself,
'Funny, I thought I locked the locker...

Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order. Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...

A few weeks later his credit card bill came - a whooping bill of $14,000!

He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.

Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system and asked if his card had been stolen... 'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.

An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.

The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.

Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.

How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy? $9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card
companies. It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!
============================

SCENE 2.
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.

The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.

Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.

He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man.

All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.

No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology..
(This scenario actually happened to me at a local restaurant -Falls Terrace- between the waitress
and the front desk cashier.)

Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.

Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.

Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH
TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!
==========================

SCENE 3:
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.

I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking Account.

The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.

While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.

I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds
when I take a picture.

He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.

It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to what he is doing..


He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.

About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.

Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.

Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone, I probably would never have known what happened.

Needless to say, I immediately canceled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlour.

All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.

Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.

Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.

Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.

JUST BE AWARE.
Never let your card out of your sight.....check and check again!

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL....

One of the most beautiful houses in the
world is in  Barcelona, Spain owned by the
famous footballer, Ronaldhino.
Well, that’s interesting . . . I received an email forward 

saying this house belonged to Tiger Woods!!

One of the most beautiful cities in the world
is Vancouver, Canada.

The most beautiful eyes in
the world belong to this
little girl from Afghanistan...

One of the most beautiful little
girls in the world is Fatima
from Morocco ...

One of the most beautiful
waterfalls in the world
is  Niagara Falls in the
U.S. and Canada.

 One of the most beautiful bridges 

in the world is in Japan.

One of the most beautiful horses
in the world is the Arabian.

One of the most beautiful
plants in the world is
shaped like a water bubble.

And one of the most
beautiful days in the
World is TODAY...
if you make it so.

Have
a great day and be
Happy!
  

10 jobs that pay $85,000

    This is from December 2012
If your kids aren't sure what they want to be . . . Have them check out the list below:

SORRY - NONE OF THESE LINKS WORK ANYMORE -   HERE IS THE CAREER BUILDER CURRENT WESITE:

https://www.careerbuilder.com/

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-3195-Salaries-Promotions-10-jobs-that-pay-85000/?SiteId=cbmsn43195&sc_extcmp=JS_3195_advice

<http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-3195-Salaries-Promotions-10-jobs-that-pay-85000/?SiteId=cbmsn43195&amp;sc_extcmp=JS_3195_advice>

10 jobs that pay $85,000
By Susan Ricker, CareerBuilder Writer
1. Actuary <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/actuary/>
What they do: Actuaries analyze the financial costs of risk and uncertainty. They use math, statistics and financial theory to assess the risk that an event will occur and to help businesses and clients develop policies to minimize the cost of that risk.
Median annual pay: $87,650

2. Compensation and benefits manager <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/compensation+and+benefits+manager/>
What they do: Compensation managers plan, direct and coordinate how and how much an organization pays its employees. Benefits managers do the same for retirement plans, health insurance and other company-provided benefits.
Median annual pay: $89,270

3. Economist <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/economist/>
What they do: Economists study the production and distribution of resources, goods and services and apply economic analysis to issues in a variety of fields, such as education, health, development and the environment. Some economists study the cost of products, health care or energy. Others examine employment levels, business cycles or exchange rates. Still others analyze the effect of taxes, inflation or interest rates.
Median annual pay: $89,450

4. Electrical and electronics engineer <http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/electrical+and+electronics+engineer/?siteid=cbworkbuzz>
What they do: Electrical engineers design, develop, test and supervise the manufacturing of electrical equipment such as electric motors, radar and navigation systems, communications systems and power generation equipment. Electronics engineers design and develop electronic equipment, such as broadcast and communications systems.
Median annual pay: $87,180

5. Elementary, middle or high-school principal <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/principal+and+education/>
What they do: Elementary, middle and high-school principals lead teachers and other members of school staff. They manage the day-to-day operations of their school. They set goals and objectives and evaluate their school's progress toward meeting them.
Median annual pay: $86,970

6. Industrial production manager <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/industrial+production+manager/>
What they do: Industrial production managers oversee the daily operations of manufacturing and related plants. They coordinate, plan and direct the manufacture of a wide range of goods, such as cars, computer equipment or paper products.
Median annual pay: $87,160

7. Medical and health services manager <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/medical+and+health+services+manager/>
What they do: Medical and health services managers, also known as health-care executives or health-care administrators, plan, direct and coordinate medical and health services. They might manage an entire facility, specialize in managing a specific clinical area or department, or manage a medical practice for a group of physicians.
Median annual pay: $84,270

8. Physician assistant <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/physician+assistant/>
What they do: Physician assistants practice medicine under the direction and supervision of physicians and surgeons. They are formally trained to examine patients, diagnose injuries and illnesses and provide treatment.
Median annual pay: $86,410

9. Sales engineer <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/sales+engineer/>
What they do: Sales engineers sell complex scientific and technological products or services to businesses. They must have extensive knowledge of the products' parts and functions and must understand the scientific processes that make these products work.
Median annual pay: $87,390

10. Training and development manager <http://msn.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/training+and+development+manager/>
What they do: Training and development managers plan, direct and coordinate programs to enhance the knowledge and skills of an organization's employees. They also oversee a staff of training and development specialists.
Median annual pay: $89,170

*All median annual pay figures and job descriptions are from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' Occupational Outlook Handbook. 

Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. 

After they got their

Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 

'Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? '

'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,

'Astronomically speaking, It tells me there are millions 

of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter

Past three in the morning.

Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful 

and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?'

"That you dumber than buffalo. 

It means someone stole the tent." 

The 2011 Darwin Awards

I always get a kick out of how stupid some of my fellow human actually  are.   Take a look for yourself. Some real winners here...
_________________________________________________
THE 2011 DARWIN AWARDS

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado,  here are the 2011 Darwin Awards:
  Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
  Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
  Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
  Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
  Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
  Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
 announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene nvestigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
  HONORABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
  RUNNER UP Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
  AND THE WINNER IS -
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to
 give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit
 happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.

The World Economy Explained with Two Cows

This is pretty old . . . But had to pass it on – it’s funny, but true!!

The World Economy Explained with Two Cows

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported differently.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

The Death of Common Sense

Someone has updated "common Sense" and I love it!


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, launched a lawsuit and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.



Here’s the original from 2005 by Lori Borgman - http://www.loriborgman.com/  

Obituary of Common Sense

On BBC Radio Stoke's Mid-Morning show, presenter Stuart George mourned the death of 'common sense'. So many people asked for a copy of what he read out, we thought it only fair to re-produce it here...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm:

Life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults are in charge not children)

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of an 8 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims,

Common sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common sense finally gave up the will to live, after a women failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common sense was preceded in death, by his parents, truth and trust

His wife, discretion

His daughter, Responsibility

His son, reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers

I know my rights

I want my rights

I want it now

I’m a victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on if not, join the majority and do nothing.
This is a modified version of a text that's originally attributed to Lori Borgman (www.loriborgman.com)

Buying his time

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

BRAVO

There has been an email going around for years attributing the following quote to the current Australian prime minister, Julia Gillard (starting June 24, 2010) – but it was actually quoted by Australian Prime Minister John Howard (from March 1996 – December 2007)  The correct and original quote is listed below:


This is a GREAT read – Wish OUR own government would take a stand like this – I love the part of being a Christian Nation – founded on and well documented.  That’s right!



http://gloucestercitynews.typepad.com/clearysnotebook/2007/10/prime-minister-.html
Prime Minister John Howard: IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT
America Needs A Leader Like This!

Prime Minister John Howard – Australia – October 17. 2007
Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. "If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you", he said on National Television

"I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another Islamic law that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that's a better option", Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should "clear off. Basically people who don't want to be Australians, and who don't want, to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off", he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: "IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians."

"However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia " "However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand." "This idea of Australia being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity And as Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom"

"We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society Learn the language!"

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."

"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us."

"If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like "A Fair Go", then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'."

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

Mid-Life Blessings

This is so funny, but true.

I have a few thoughts that I would like to share with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60,70
(or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired moustache.

In mid-life women don't have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror
and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram, and you realize
that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen, honey, even the Roman empire fell, and those will too.'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves
and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all,
cell phone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go.
In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
--more red and blue lines than a map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective.
You start pondering the 'big' questions.
What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double,
but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now,
for the body you had way back when?
Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to
hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Life is short, Break the rules,
Forgive quickly, Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably.
Never regret anything that made you smile!