Thursday, January 9, 2014

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"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."

My New Cell Phone

I thought this information might be helpful to you!

I just got my new cell phone, and it's one that I can understand, outsmart, and know how to operate!!!
I got it at the "AT&T Cell Phone for Seniors store" at the mall!
You REALLY have to be OLD to appreciate THIS.


I know some of you are not old enough to get this, but you can pass it on to some old person who needs a laugh today!!!


1930's - voters vote FOR a bond . . .

. . . .   that put a Lien on their farms and homes . . . to build the Golden Gate Bridge . . . CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!!

This passed DURING the depression!!  Read Below -

Link

Bridging the Golden Gate
page 5


The Great Depression was in full swing, the bridge’s construction cost of $35 million was only an estimate, and with physical factors like swirling tides, channel depths, ranging winds and fog — not to mention countless other engineering challenges — there was still considerable doubt the Golden Gate Bridge could ever be built.

The latter half of the 1920s saw endless debating, campaigning, estimating and theorizing about constructing the Golden Gate Bridge. Marvelous Marin, a bridge booster group, distributed 10,000 “Bridge the Gate” bumper stickers. In San Anselmo, the Lions Club handed out windshield stickers asking, “Why Wait?” In discussions that would not be out of place today, conservatives argued for austerity while progressives pushed for action.
The all-critical construction bond measure vote was finally set for November 4, 1930. Southern Pacific Railroad, owners of most of the bay’s ferry lines, naturally opposed the issue. So did the American Steamship Lines, which erroneously declared that the bridge would be too low and thus keep “10 of the world’s greatest ships from entering San Francisco harbor.” The vaunted Commonwealth Club was also negative on the subject; so was a Taxpayers’ Committee Against the Golden Gate Bridge Bonds.

But other groups were in favor of the bond measure. In addition to Marvelous Marin and the San Anselmo Lions, most chambers of commerce within the fledgling district’s six counties, along with the emerging Automobile Dealers Association and the San Francisco Chronicle, backed the proposition. Their cause was given a strong boost when the bridge district voted unanimously to require the eventual contractors to hire only workers who had lived in one of the six counties for at least a year.

Only voters in the district’s six counties would be going to the polls. And if the $35 million, plus an additional $39 million in interest, could not be repaid via bridge tolls, liens would be issued against every county resident’s property as a way of making good on the debt. Moreover, passage of the measure required not a simple majority, but a two-thirds approval by voters. Given all this, the odds of passage were not good.

Yet once all votes were counted, the tally stood: 145,697 voted in favor of the bonds while 47,005 voted against. Therefore, the Golden Gate Bridge would be built. In celebration, “at three o’clock on November 12, 1930,” writes Allen Brown in his colorful 1965 book Golden Gate: Biography of a Bridge, “every store in Marin closed its doors so that all could attend a football game in San Rafael that featured an air show over the playing field.” The next day, according to Brown, Marvelous Marin staged a patriotic parade down Fourth Street to celebrate the passing of the bond.

Over time, due primarily to the efforts of San Francisco’s A.P. Giannini, founder of the Bank of America, the $35 million in bonds were successfully sold, earning interest of between 5 and 5.25 percent. Construction on the Golden Gate Bridge started on January 5, 1933 and was completed in May 1937. It came in on budget and, save a tiny portion built using Works Progress Administration funds, none of the money came from state or national sources — the project was all regionally funded.

It's A Man Thing

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs.

Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical male, I didn 't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place.

I didn
't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car.  Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently I'm still lost. It's a man thing.

HIS AND HER DIARY FOR THE SAME DAY:

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.   Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure out why.

The Church Ladies are back...

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins - ladies with typewriters.
These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS & TYPOS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

--------------------------

The sermon this morning:   'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

--------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. Is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their
electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!

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Thieves are not stupid


1. A friend of a friend left their car in the long-term parking at San Jose while away, and someone broke into the car. Using the information on the car's registration in the glove compartment, they drove the car to the people's home in Pebble Beach and robbed it. So I guess if we are going to leave the car in long-term parking, we should not leave the registration/insurance cards in it, nor your remote garage door opener.

 This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.

 2. GPS- A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

 Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it... Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would know where you live if your GPS were stolen.

 3. MOBILE PHONES - I never thought of this.......

 This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.' When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.
       
    I’m not so sure this could happen in so short a time.  There is a limit on how much you can transfer at the atm – so he would have had to visit a few atms.


 Moral of the lesson:
     a. Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....
     b. And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.
     c. Also, when you're being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them,
be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.

20 Pearls of Wisdom for a stress FREE Life -

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water in her hand. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?' - She fooled them all -  "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow.

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

20 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!*

Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says

~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!"

A Soldier Died Today - A Poem Worth Reading


A Soldier Died Today

         He was getting old and paunchy
        And his hair was falling fast, 
        And he sat around the Legion, 
        Telling stories of the past. 

       Of a war that he once fought in 
        And the deeds that he had done, 
        In his exploits with his buddies; 
        They were heroes, every one. 

       And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors 
        His tales became a joke, 
        All his buddies listened quietly 
        For they knew where of he spoke. 
       
        But we'll hear his tales no longer, 
        For ol' Joe has passed away, 
        And the world's a little poorer 
        For a Soldier died today. 

       He won't be mourned by many, 
        Just his children and his wife. 
        For he lived an ordinary, 
        Very quiet sort of life. 

       He held a job and raised a family, 
        Going quietly on his way; 
        And the world won't note his passing, 
        'Tho a Soldier died today. 

       When politicians leave this earth, 
        Their bodies lie in state, 
        While thousands note their passing, 
        And proclaim that they were great. 

       Papers tell of their life stories 
        From the time that they were young 
        But the passing of a Soldier 
        Goes unnoticed, and unsung. 

       Is the greatest contribution 
        To the welfare of our land, 
        Some jerk who breaks his promise 
        And cons his fellow man? 

       Or the ordinary fellow 
        Who in times of war and strife, 
        Goes off to serve his country 
        And offers up his life? 

       The politician's stipend 
        And the style in which he lives, 
        Are often disproportionate, 
        To the service that he gives. 

       While the ordinary Soldier, 
        Who offered up his all, 
        Is paid off with a medal 
        And perhaps a pension, small. 

       It is not the politicians 
        With their compromise and ploys, 
        Who won for us the freedom 
        That our country now enjoys? 

       Should you find yourself in danger, 
        With your enemies at hand, 
        Would you really want some cop-out, 
        With his ever waffling stand? 

       Or would you want a Soldier 
        His home, his country, his kin, 
        Just a common Soldier, 
        Who would fight until the end?

       He was just a common Soldier, 
        And his ranks are growing thin, 
        But his presence should remind us 
        We may need his likes again. 

       For when countries are in conflict, 
        We find the Soldier's part 
        Is to clean up all the troubles 
        That the politicians start. 

       If we cannot do him honor 
        While he's here to hear the praise, 
        Then at least let's give him homage 
        At the ending of his days.
 
        Perhaps just a simple headline 
        In the paper that might say: 
        "OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING, 
        A SOLDIER DIED TODAY." 

How did we survive?


Those of  You Born Between 1930  - 1979

TO  ALL THE KIDS WHO  SURVIVED THE  
1930's, 40's,  50's, 60's and 70's!
  
  
First, we survived  being born to mothers who  smoked and/or drank while they were Pregnant.
       
They took aspirin, ate blue  cheese dressing, Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.     
    
Then after that trauma,  we were put to sleep on our  tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored  lead-base paints.
    
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, Locks on  doors or cabinets and when we rode our  bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our
heads.
       
As infants  & children, we would  ride in cars with no car seats, no booster
seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
   
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a  special treat.
 
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
       
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
  
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.

We  drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. 
 
WHY?
  
 
Because we were Always outside playing...that's why!
       
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the Streetlights came on.
 
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.
  
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then  ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the
bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
     
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There  were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,  
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No  cell phones,   
No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
  
    
  
WE HAD FRIENDS And we went  outside and found them!
  
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and  there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
  
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us forever.
  
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out  very many eyes.
   
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
  
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.  
Imagine that!!
       
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They  actually sided with the law!
       
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
       
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.  We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
   
If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good.
   
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
  
 
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud  slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of
swine flu and terrorist attacks.  
Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'      
  
God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and  who you refuse to let go.
    
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.       
    
Father,  God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen.
  
     
IN GOD WE TRUST