Difference between- ho ho.

Difference between Complete and Finished.

No dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.

His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.

Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes.

Chuckle Time!

Here's your laugh for the day.  Enjoy!!  


A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

The husband, typically nonromantic, replied,
"I am on the commode. Please advise."

Way Too Funny!!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal .. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

Never going back to that doctor again……….. Never.

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!

WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!

*Our Phones ~ Wireless
*Cooking ~ Fireless
*Cars ~ Keyless
*Food ~ Fatless
*Tires ~ Tubeless
*Dress ~ Sleeveless
*Youth ~ Jobless
*Leaders ~ Shameless
*Relationships ~ Meaningless
*Attitude ~ Careless
*Wives ~ Fearless
*Babies ~ Fatherless
*Feelings ~ Heartless
*Education ~ Valueless
*Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.
In fact we are ~ Speechless
And our PRESIDENT is
CLUELESS !!   

May 2013 

Letter to Obama

Dear President Obama,

My name is Harold Estes, approaching 95 on December 13 of this year. People meeting me for the first time don't believe my age because I remain wrinkle free and pretty much mentally alert.

I enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 1934 and served proudly before, during and afterWW II retiring as a Master Chief Bos'n Mate. Now I live in a "rest home" located on the western end of Pearl Harbor allowing me to keep alive the memories of 23 years of service to my country.

One of the benefits of my age, perhaps the only one, is to speak my mind, blunt and direct even to the head man.

So here goes.

I am amazed, angry and determined not to see my country die before I do but you seem hell bent not to grant me that wish.

I can't figure out what country you are the president of. You fly around the world telling our friends and enemies despicable lies like:

"We're no longer a Christian nation"

"America is arrogant" - (Your wife even announced to the world, "America is mean-spirited." Please tell her to try preaching that nonsense to 23 generations of our war dead buried all over the globe who died for no other reason than to free a whole lot of strangers from tyranny and hopelessness.)
I'd say shame on the both of you but I don't think you like America nor do I see an ounce of gratefulness in anything you do for the obvious gifts this country has given you. To be without shame or gratefulness is a dangerous thing for a man sitting in the White House.

After 9/11 you said, "America hasn't lived up to her ideals." Which ones did you mean?

1. Was it the notion of personal liberty that 11,000 farmers and shopkeepers died for to win independence from the British ?

2. Or maybe the ideal that no man should be a slave to another man that 500,000 men died for in the Civil War?

3. I hope you didn't mean the ideal 470,000 fathers, brothers, husbands, and a lot of fellahs I knew personally died for in WWII, because we felt real strongly about not letting any nation push us around because we stand for freedom.

4. I don't think you mean the ideal that says equality is better than discrimination. You know the one that a whole lot of white people understood when they helped to get you elected.

Take a little advice from a very old geezer,young man. Shape up and start acting like an American. If you don't, I'll do what I can to see you get shipped out of that fancy rental on Pennsylvania Avenue. You were elected to lead not to bow, apologize and kiss the hands of murderers and corrupt leaders who still treat their
people like slaves.

And just who do you think you are telling the American people not to jump to conclusions and condemn that Muslim major who killed 13 of his fellow soldiers and wounded dozens more. You mean you don't want us to do what you did when that white cop used force to subdue that black college professor in Massachusetts who was putting up a fight? You don't mind offending the police calling them stupid but you don't want us to offend Muslim fanatics by calling them what they are, terrorists.

One more thing. I realize you never served in the military and never had to defend your country with your life but you're the Commander-in-Chief now, son. Do your job. When your battle-hardened field General asks you for 40,000 more troops to complete the mission, give them to him. But if you're not in this fight to win, then get out. The life of one American soldier is not worth the best political strategy you're thinking of.

You could be our greatest president because you face the greatest challenge ever presented to any president.

You're not going to restore American greatness by bringing back our bloated economy. That's not our greatest threat. Losing the heart and soul of who we are as Americans is our big fight now. And I sure as hell don't want to think my president is the enemy in this final battle.

Sincerely,

Harold B. Estes



August 2013

(More) Gorgeous Photos

 Amazing Norway !!!

 Sea Caves near Benagil Beach , Algarve , Portugal 

 Amazing Constructions..!! Barcelona .

Beautiful Display Of The Balance Between Predators & Prey In Nature? or (school is in session?)

 At Wat Samphran (วัด สามพราน) in Nakhon Pathom Province there is a 17 story
Building that has a giant dragon climbing to the roof. The head is at the top where
There is a shrine and the tail is on the ground floor. The dragon is hollow and it is
Possible to walk up some sections of it.

 This house was designed by Rudy Ricciotti. The unique architecture includes a
Pool house, which is like a window in the living room where you can enjoy not
Only swimming in the water, but the person swimming in it with the effect of the
Outdoor landscape which is reflected through the window.

 The Aiguille du Midi cable car leaves from the centre of Chamonix . It takes visitors
Up to 3842 m for a stunning view of the French Swiss and Italian alps. — 

 Paradise ! Jungfrau Mountain Range , Switzerland

 Hallgrímskirkja (244 ft), is the largest church and the sixth tallest architectural
Structure in Iceland . ( floating on permafrost?) 

 The Melisanni Cave , Greece . This beautiful cave, which was discovered in 1951
And is surrounded by forests, features in Greek mythology as the cave of the
Nymphs. 

 Thermal baths inside a cave - Miskolc Tapolca , Hungary 
OMG, take me there please.....

Very Clever Complaint Letter -

This is too good!!

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his depositing the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly transfer of funds from my modest savings account, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has recently become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status form which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Please allow me to level the playing field even further. When you call me, you will now have a menu of options on my new voice mail system to choose from.
Please press the buttons as follows:

1. To make an appointment to see me.

2 .To query a missing payment.

3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee of $50 to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. Please credit my account after each occasion.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.



The letter quoted above was one man’s method of blowing off steam at having to deal with some of these exasperating aspects of modern banking.  It has been changed over the years to keep it updated.  It was originally published in 2003

It was penned by Peter Wear, a columnist for the Courier Mail in Brisbane, Australia for the “Perspectives” column.  It was never sent to a bank . . . .  darn it!!

Children in Church

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

*************************************************************

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.  Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

**************************************************************

One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."


**********************************************************

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

 *********************************************************

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

***********************************************************

Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother,  Joel , were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,

"See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."

*************************************************************

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

********************************************************

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.  Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking,

"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

*********************************************************

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,  "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

God's Wife

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was: “God’s Wife”

1. A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor
was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

***********************************

2. Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, 'I know all about adoption, I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked another child.

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'


********************************

3. On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.  'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered with a smile.

'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged.'

'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face . . .

'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet.'


*******************************

4. Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.

Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.

On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement.  'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'


*******************************

5. An eye witness account from New York City ,
on a cold day in December, some years ago:
A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, shivering and cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'

'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,' was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now..'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her, 'Are you God's wife?'

Good for everyone

This is the most beautiful advice I have ever received in an email .

An Angel says, 

'Never borrow from the future. 

If you worry about what may happen tomorrow 

and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. 

Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit 

into your time schedule, 

or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more.

 (Although one is often not enough, 
two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. 

9. Pace yourself.

Spread out big changes 

and difficult projects over time; 

don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. 

If a situation is a concern, 

find out what God would have you do 

and let go of the anxiety. 

If you can't do anything about a situation, 

forget it.

12. Live within your budget; 

don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; 

an extra car key in your wallet, 

an extra house key buried in the garden, 

extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). 

This single piece of advice can prevent 

an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a spiritually enlightening 

book with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place. 

 20. Listen to a tape while driving 

that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? 

Talk to God on the spot. 

Try to nip small problems in the bud. 

Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge 

between despair and hope is often a good 

'Thank you GOD.'

27. Laugh. 

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously,

but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude 

(most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people

(they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not 

the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, 

think of one thing you're grateful for 

that you've never been grateful for before. 

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING

THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

'If God is for us, 

who can be against us?'

(Romans  8:31)

IN GODWE TRUST!

LIVE WITH FAITH!

LAUGH WITH FRIENDS!

LOVE WITH FAMILY!

Souls Saved...Lives Changed