* The problem
with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
* We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop
* If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers
* Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato
* Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
* When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
* Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author Unknown
* If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno
* Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
* Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
* I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
* A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan
* Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~Gore Vidal
* I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
* Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson
* Don't vote, it only encourages them. ~Author Unknown
* There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. ~Will Rogers
* We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop
* If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers
* Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato
* Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
* When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
* Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author Unknown
* If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno
* Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
* Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
* I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
* A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan
* Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~Gore Vidal
* I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
* Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson
* Don't vote, it only encourages them. ~Author Unknown
* There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. ~Will Rogers
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