PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy / girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

What Was It Like When You Were Growing Up?

 

BLAST FROM THE PAST!

(ash tray in the car on the door)

(Speakers to hang on your slightly rolled down car window 

to hear the sound of the movie at the local drive-in theatre)

(GUM!  Above and below)

(on the driver's lefthand side - on the floor, 

you could push this with your foot and 

the windshield wiper would work once. 

If you kept your foot pressed on it, it would continue)

I still have mine!!

(Made of wax, these had little drinks inside.

You could chew on the wax!)

(These are "flash bulbs" - you put them on the top of your camera if you needed a flash.  

After each flash, the camera would turn the bulb to the next flash.  All four sides flashed.  

You had to remove it and add another one to the top of your camera.)

I had one - we all did!!

True story - This would have been in the 90's 

A guest at my child's birthday party needed to call their parent for a ride home.  

We had a toddler who kept breaking our hanging wall unit phone and my brother 

gave us one of these very sturdy (and heavy) old phones with the dial.  

We pointed to it sitting there on our desk.  She looked at the thing.  My husband says, 

"Do you know how to use that".  

Her reply - and I wish I could somehow put the inflection in this response, 

but I'm sure you can imagine it. -  "NO!"

(Once upon a time we had to replace transistors in our TV -

so we had these testing stations to check them out)

(Top left - road map

Top right - the yellow pages

YES - we all used these - that's what was available!

Bottom right - knobs on the TV - NO REMOTE!

Bottom left - you had to use this to crank your window up/down in the car,

actually though, you can still find these on the really cheap cars at the car lot)

A LONG time ago, they gave out free maps at the gas station.

Then you had to pay for them.  But not much)

 

Parents & Grandparents..

GOD CREATED CHILDREN 

(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

 To those of us who have children in our lives, 

whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.



After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
' DON'T !'

 'Don't what ? ' 

Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.

'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit?
'Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
 ' No Way! '
'Yes way ! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
said God.

 'Why ? '

'Because I am your Father 

and I said so ! '
God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants...

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break -
and He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked?

 'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you? ' 
asked the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

 If you have persistently and lovingly 

tried to give children wisdom 

and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk . . . Then you spend the next sixteen telling them  to sit down and be quiet!

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children!

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young! 

4. Children seldom misquote you.  In Fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said! 

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own!!

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in!!

 ADVICE FOR THE DAY: 

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day !!!

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN' !!!!! 

I Fought For You

Computer Swallowed Grandma

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA
The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.

This is a tribute to all the 

Grandmas who have been fearless and . . . .

Learned to use the Computer.....

They are the greatest!!!

We do not stop playing because we grow old;

We grow old because we stop playing.

NEVER Be The First To Get Old!