I have received many email forwards, then I have forwarded them to people on "my list". I love these touching, warm, funny emails. I started saving them on my computer, so I would never lose them. I decided to create a blog to hold all these email forwards, so others can enjoy them and so I can easily refer to them when I want. I hope people who love email forwards as much as I do, or like reading funny and inspirational readings will find this site and share it with others.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Maxine At It Again - Fun With Words!!
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... doesthat mean that one out of five enjoys it?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a
race car is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and
clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on
the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of
criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps,
so the mailmen can look for them
while they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear
until you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Why do we press harder on the remote control
when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient
funds when they already know you're broke?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there
are one billion stars in the universe you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint
you have to touch it to check?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose cruel idea was it to put
an "s" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter what color
bubble bath you use,
the bubbles are always clear?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat
will have materialized?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it and then put it down
to give the vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into
the enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table,
you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm
as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your
e-mail address in the first place?
And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say
that one out of every four persons
is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.
If they're OK . . . then it's you!
REMEMBER, A day without a smile
is like a day without sunshine!
And a day without sunshine is, like...........night!!!!