Good for everyone

This is the most beautiful advice I have ever received in an email .

An Angel says, 

'Never borrow from the future. 

If you worry about what may happen tomorrow 

and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. 

Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit 

into your time schedule, 

or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more.

 (Although one is often not enough, 
two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. 

9. Pace yourself.

Spread out big changes 

and difficult projects over time; 

don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. 

If a situation is a concern, 

find out what God would have you do 

and let go of the anxiety. 

If you can't do anything about a situation, 

forget it.

12. Live within your budget; 

don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; 

an extra car key in your wallet, 

an extra house key buried in the garden, 

extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). 

This single piece of advice can prevent 

an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a spiritually enlightening 

book with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place. 

 20. Listen to a tape while driving 

that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? 

Talk to God on the spot. 

Try to nip small problems in the bud. 

Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge 

between despair and hope is often a good 

'Thank you GOD.'

27. Laugh. 

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously,

but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude 

(most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people

(they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not 

the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, 

think of one thing you're grateful for 

that you've never been grateful for before. 

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING

THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

'If God is for us, 

who can be against us?'

(Romans  8:31)

IN GODWE TRUST!

LIVE WITH FAITH!

LAUGH WITH FRIENDS!

LOVE WITH FAMILY!

Souls Saved...Lives Changed 

Places of Interest

These are amazing places. What great designs and creativity.

 Impressive Highways system above the Rainforest in Sao Paolo, Brazil

 Dinner in the sky in Brussels, Belgium

 Beijing International Airport, China

Super Moon rising above Sierra Nevada Sequoia National Park California

 The Amazing Stone Mirror in Istanbul, Turkey

 Amazing view of Schwerin Castle, Germany

 The water is so clear it looks like the boat is hovering! - Bora Pearl Beach

 Heart Island in mangrove delta of the Vaza-Barris River, Brazil

Escalator of the New World Trade Center

Impressive Swim Pools Balconies at Bandra Ohm Residential Tower in Mumbai, India

Airplanes rolling over highway at Leipzig-Halle Airport in Germany

Amazing walk at West Side of Taihang Mountain in Shanxi Province, China

 Mesmerising Niagara Falls - Rainbow Bridge, USA

 Ferrari World Theme Park In Abu Dhabi

Amazing Corinthos Channel in Greece

 Awesome Singapore - Dance of Light

 World's Largest Ice Cave in Austria

 The Streets of Monaco Yacht (This obviously is a rendering . . . Wonder if they made it yet?)

 World's first billion dollar house in Mumbai, India - 27 Floors Ambani's Palace

Amazing Landwasser Viaduct Switzerland

Chocolate Extremes

Unfortunately, the awesome pictures didn’t show up on my email when I forwarded it and the original email was deleted.  Sorry!!

The Most Expensive Chocolates in the World! Chocolate is one of the oldest foods in the world. It was already known in ancient times, the Aztecs and Mayan people would tend to grind cacao seeds and mix them with different spices, food and drink. Over the years, the chocolate transformed and became one of the world's most favorite treats and snacks. Alongside commercial varieties are also proudly fine and gourmet chocolate. 

From a health perspective, chocolate is considered as an antioxidant that helps lower blood pressure and improve heart function . Maybe that's why some people will pay huge amounts for rare chocolates. How much money? Here is a list of the most expensive chocolates in the world!

Chocolate Truffle Cake Box Chocolate Truffle Cake Box is an EDIBLE box of chocolate. This is actually a cheese cake made from vanilla and bourbon coated in macadamia nuts and decorated with white and dark chocolate. The top of the cake, the decorations and interior chocolates are all edible. The price of a box cake is $180.

Aficionado's Collection chocolates Aficionado's Collection chocolates is a collection of famous cigars made especially for the holidays, from Swiss manufacturer 'The House Of Grauer'.The cigars are actually high quality Swiss chocolate rolled in a cigar leaf that comes in a variety of flavors to choose from, including Italian roasted nuts, milk chocolate with organic pollen from France and cinnamon from Sri Lanka. The cigars are packaged in beautiful boxes that reflect the tradition of cigar smoking and offer an experience of taste and luxury. Prices range from $ 65 for 14 units to $275 dollars for 104 units.

'The chocolate' chocolate box A boutique factory called 'The Chocolate' designed one of the world's most luxurious chocolate truffles in the world. The Chocolate itself comes in a fancy box made from recycled materials and studded with 450 Swarovski crystal stones, inside and out. The price tag of this prestigious is $294 dollars.

Delafee's Chocolate Box The Swiss company Delafee specializes in ideas, gifts and designs covered in chocolate, and so it also sells chocolate boxes. This box contains 8 chocolate fingers coated with 24 carat gold sparkles at a price of $508 dollars a pound. Michel Cluizel's 400 piece chocolate box Michel Cluizel's chocolates are a rich-in-flavor experience. Inside his own edible chocolate box there are 400 pieces of neatly organized chocolates, with special designs and tastes. His box has a price tag of $895.

Cocoa Gourmet royal collection For true chocophiles or just rich enough to be willing to spend a fortune on chocolate, there is the Cocoa Gourmet royal collection, which offers chocolate pieces embedded with diamonds, gold and silver. The chocolates not only provide a sweet tooth delight but are also a luxurious symbol of status. This box, the price of which stands proudly at $1,250, offers only 12 pieces of Swiss Gnash chocolate, studded in previous metals and diamonds. The metals are safe for eating and hold to the international food standard.

Wispa chocolate bar The Wispa chocolate bar is the most expensive chocolate bar in the world. Gold wrapped, it is valued at $1628 dollars.

Noka Vintages Collection The Noka Vintages Collection is a delicious chocolate delicacy obtained from special cocoa beans that grow in exclusive plantations in Venezuela , Côte d'Ivoire , Trinidad and Ecuador . The chocolate is made from 75% pure chocolate with cocoa butter and sugar, without any addition of emulsifier or vanilla. It is sold for the amazing price of $854 dollars a pound.

Fritz Knipschildt's Chocopolagie Fritz Knipschildt's Chocopolagie is one of the most expensive and delicious delicacies in the world. The recipe made of 70% dark chocolate was invented by chef Fritz Knipschildt in 1999 in France , and he quickly settled in the top of the luxury chocolate list. The Bitter truffle is sold with a price tag of $250 per unit or $2600 dollars for 450 grams (about a pound).

Lebanese Patchi chocolates If you want to taste a different kind of luxury, these chocolates for you. The Lebanese Patchi brand is embedded with Swarovski stones and launched by the Harrods in a box of 49 pieces of chocolate wrapped in silk from India and placed on suede leather pads decorated with gold and platinum. The price of this box? Well, it comes to $10,000. You heard right.

Most expensive chocolate: 'Le Chocolate' chocolate box But the World's most expensive chocolate is the fulfillment of every woman's dream - chocolate and diamonds. The 'Le Chocolate' chocolate box, designed by Simmons Jewelry, includes a variety of chocolates packaged in a box with necklaces, earrings, rings and bracelets set in yellow and blue diamonds, sapphires and emeralds. It is currently the world's most expensive set and it's price is 'only' $1.5 million

A Nun’s Grading Papers

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.


1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY AJEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREADWHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY. 

A LITTLE BOY DESCRIBES GOD

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA . He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to 'explain God.' I wonder if any of us could have done as well?
(and he had such an assignment, in California, and someone published it, I guess miracles do happen!)

EXPLANATION OF GOD:

'One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.'

'God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.'

'God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.'

'Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista . At least there aren't any who come to our church.'

'Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.'

'His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.'

'You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.'

'You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God! 

Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.'

'If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.'

'But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you.

I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.

And...that's why I believe in God.'

Three Blondes

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Toronto Police Force.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said,

"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect.  You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did, he has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said,"Of course he has only one eye in this picture!
It's a profile of his face!  You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds,
pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?
This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!
You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,
"This is probably a waste of time, but...."

He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,
"All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.

" The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some
of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said,
"You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you
tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said,
"Well, Hellooooooooooooo!

With only one eye and one ear, ...he certainly can't wear glasses."

May 2012

Sooo... How's YOUR day been?

New Sub Species.. (a chuckle)

They are referred to as “homo slackass-erectus”, created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. The "drag-crotch" shape also seems to effect brain function. Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. History shows that this species mostly voted for Obama and receives food stamps and full government care.

Unfortunately most are highly fertile.

January 2012

"20 Years of Marriage . . . "

A woman wakes up during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband pauses - the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued -
 "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today."

Pet Notice

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. 

FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT’S ALSO A TRUE STORY. 
   

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: 
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.  Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
 
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.   I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
 
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
 
The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.  I cannot stress this enough.
 


Finally, in fairness, Dear Pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: 

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN

(1)  They live here....you don't. 

(2)  If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.  That's why they call it “fur”-niture. 

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 

(4)  To you, they are animals.  To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.


Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

   (1) eat less,

   (2) don't ask for money all the time,

   (3) are easier to train,

   (4) normally come when called,

   (5) never ask to drive the car,

   (6) don't hang out with drug-using people;

   (7) don't smoke or drink,

   (8) don't want to wear your clothes,

   (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

   (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

   (11) if they get pregnant,

                   you can sell their children.....