7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

A little  girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The  teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it was a very
large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically  impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied,  'Then you ask him'. 

A Kindergarten  teacher was observing her classroom of children while  they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around  to see each child's work.
As she got to one little  girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the  drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing  God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one  knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a  beat, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A  Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
 

One  day a little girl was sitting and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

 The  children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's  dead.'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The  children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE.  God is  watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at  the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want.
God is watching the  apples....'
  

July 2012