Chocolate
is derived from cacao beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either
sugar CANE or sugar BEETS.
Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable
category.
Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To
go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So
candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered
raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as
many as you want.
If
you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
The
problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The
solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet
tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your
appetite, and you'll eat less.
If
calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are
afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect
themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)
If
I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced
diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate
has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you
need to eat more chocolate.
Put
"eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That
way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A
nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one
place. Now, isn't that handy?
If
you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't
eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If
not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire
garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
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