Funniest VIRUS PUNS!!

Here they are - some of the funniest VIRUS PUNS all in one spot! 

Some of these are laugh out loud funny!!

Broadneck High School’s Class of 2020 Senior Prank Maryland

Carla and Carl Cavedweller are social distancing champs!
From Santa Cruz Boardwalk Sky Glider
Santa Cruz, California
Beach Boardwalk

STAYING HOME . . . 

I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone.   He asked me what I was wearing…

2019: Stay away from negative people. 

2020: Stay away from positive people.

The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

This virus has done what no woman has been able to do … 

cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood!

Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. 

We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants! I say we use them!

Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See . . . This is why I chew the furniture!”

Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?

Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this corona-virus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.

I swear my fridge just said, “What the heck do you want now?”

When this is over I am wondering what meeting do I attend first … Weight Watchers or AA?

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about a car ride.

Saw my neighbor out early this morning scraping the  “My Kid is aTerrific Student” sticker off her minivan.  Guess the first week of home-schooling didn’t go so well!

Pollution levels dropping at record breaking rates. Fewer cars on the road, fewer cruise ships on the seas, fewer planes in the sky.    Same number of cows.

NO SPORTS! BUT… if you dump a bag of Skittles in the toilet, squint your eyes and flush it’s almost like watching a NASCAR race!

Remember when you were a kid and you would say “don’t touch me, you have cooties”? Ding ding ding…Round 2. Just older now.

As soon as the stores open up again, let's all run out and get some really great teacher appreciation gifts, like the thrill you got finding that the store had a package of toilet paper!

Since we are stuck at home we should call random numbers in India and ask them about their extended car warranty ...... college loans due .... emspfennsbbw (unintelligible babble about something).

Wonder how many students are missing their old teachers because their new one is too mean?

Publix and other Florida supermarkets are announcing special early morning hours just for people 60 and older. The other 10 people in the state are thrilled to have the stores to themselves the rest of the day!

Day six of no sports: Today I watched birds in the backyard fight over worms. Cardinals were beating the Blue Jays 4 to 2.

I'm putting 4 beers in every room and getting dressed up … then I’m going bar hopping!

I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator!

*****After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house (basement, garage, closets) but lacking the time . . . this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason. 

GOTTA KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR!