I have received many email forwards, then I have forwarded them to people on "my list". I love these touching, warm, funny emails. I started saving them on my computer, so I would never lose them. I decided to create a blog to hold all these email forwards, so others can enjoy them and so I can easily refer to them when I want. I hope people who love email forwards as much as I do, or like reading funny and inspirational readings will find this site and share it with others.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Beautiful Christmas Story - "Father Martin"
The Shoemaker – A Christmas Story
There once lived in the city of Marseilles an old shoemaker, loved and honored by his neighbors, who affectionately called him “Father Martin”.
One Christmas Eve, as he sat alone in his little shop reading of the visit of the Wise Men to the infant Jesus, and of the gifts they brought, he said to himself. “If tomorrow were the first Christmas, and if Jesus were to be born in Marseilles this night, I know what I would give Him!” He rose from his stool and took from a shelf overhead two tiny shoes of softest snow- white leather, with bright silver buckles. “I would give Him those, my finest work.”
Replacing the shoes, he blew out the candle and retired to rest. Hardly had he closed his eyes, it seemed, when he heard a voice call his name…”Martin! Martin!”
Intuitively he felt a presence. Then the voice spoke again…”Martin, you have wished to see Me. Tomorrow I shall pass by your window. If you see Me, and bid Me enter, I shall be your guest at your table.”
Father Martin did not sleep that night for joy. And before it was yet dawn he rose and swept and tidied up his little shop. He spread fresh sand upon the floor, and wreathed green boughs of fir along the rafters. On the spotless linen-covered table he placed a loaf of white bread, a jar of honey, and a pitcher of milk, and over the fire he hung a pot of tea Then he took up his patient vigil at the window.
Presently he saw an old street-sweeper pass by, blowing upon his thin, gnarled hands to warm them. “Poor fellow, he must be half frozen,” thought Martin. Opening the door he called out to him, “Come in, my friend, and warm, and drink a cup of hot tea.” And the man gratefully accepted the invitation.
An hour passed, and Martin saw a young, miserably clothed women carrying a baby. She paused wearily to rest in the shelter of his doorway. The heart of the old cobbler was touched. Quickly he flung open the door.
“Come in and warm while you rest,” he said to her. “You do not look well,” he remarked.
“I am going to the hospital. I hope they will take me in, and my baby boy,” she explained. “My husband is at sea, and I am ill, without a soul.”
“Poor child!” cried Father Martin. “You must eat something while you are getting warm. No, Then let me give a cup of milk to the little one. Ah! What a bright, pretty fellow he is! Why, you have put no shoes on him!”
“I have no shoes for him,” sighed the mother sadly. “Then he shall have this lovely pair I finished yesterday.” And Father Martin took down from the shelf the soft little snow-white shoes he had admired the evening before. He slipped them on the child’s feet…they fit perfectly. And shortly the poor young mother left, two shoes in her hand and tearful with gratitude.
And Father Martin resumed his post at the window. Hour after hour went by, and although many people passed his window, and many needy souls shared his hospitality, the expected Guest did not appear.
“It was only a dream,” he sighed, with a heavy heart. “I did not believe; but he has not come.”
Suddenly, so it seemed to his weary eyes, the room was flooded with a strange light. And to the cobbler’s astonished vision there appeared before him, one by one, the poor street-sweeper, the sick mother and her child, and all the people whom he had aided during the day. And each smiled at him and said. “Have you not seen me? Did I not sit at your table?” Then they vanished.
At last, out of the silence, Father Martin heard again the gentle voice repeating the old familiar words. “Whosoever shall receive one such in My name, receiveth Me…for I was an hungered, and ye gave Me meat; I was athirst, and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took Me in…verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto Me.”
Friday, December 21, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
This Kid Has All The Moves!!
Too cute!!
And he's only 2 years old! You'll enjoy this!!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Things To Do In An Elevator . . .
These are truly funny . . . I would love to see someone try some of these . . .
26 things to do in an elevator
1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space”.
60+ things to do in an Elevator!!
1. MAKE RACE CAR NOISES WHEN ANYONE GETS OFF OR ON.
2. BLOW YOUR NOSE AND OFFER TO SHOW THE CONTENTS TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS.
3. GRIMACE PAINFULLY WHILE SLAPPING YOUR FOREHEAD AND MUTTERING, "SHUT-UP, DANG IT, ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT-UP!"
4. WHISTLE THE FIRST SEVEN NOTES OF "IT'S A SMALL WORLD" INCESSANTLY.
5. SELL GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
6. ON A LONG ELEVATOR RIDE, SWAY SIDE-TO-SIDE AT THE NATURAL FREQUENCY OF THE ELEVATOR
7. SHAVE
8. CRACK OPEN YOUR PURSE OR BRIEFCASE WHILE PEERING INSIDE ASK, "GOT ENOUGH AIR IN THERE?"
9. OFFER NAME TAGS TO EVERYONE GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR. WHERE YOURS UP-SIDE-DOWN.
10. STAND SILENT AND MOTIONLESS IN THE CORNER WITHOUT GETTING OFF.
11. WHEN ARRIVING AT YOUR FLOOR, GRUNT AND STRAIN TO OPEN THE DOORS, AND WHEN THE OPEN MY THEMSELVES, ACT EMBARRASSED.
12. LEAN OVER TO ANOTHER PASSENGER AND WHISPER "NOOGIE PATROL IS COMING"
13. GREET EVERYONE WITH A WARM HANDSHAKE AND ASK THEM TO CALL YOU ADMIRAL.
14. ONE WORD: FLATULENCE!
15. ON THE HIGHEST FLOOR, HOLD THE DOOR OPEN AND DEMAND THAT IT STAY OPEN UNTIL YOU HEAR THE PENNY THAT YOU DROPPED DOWN THE SHAFT GO "PLINK" AT THE BOTTOM.
16. DO TAI CHI EXERCISES
17. STARE, GRINNING AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE THEN ANNOUNCE, "I'VE GOT NEW SOCKS ON!"
18. WHEN AT LEAST 8 PEOPLE ARE ON, MOAN FROM THE BACK, "NOT NOW! I'VE GOT MOTION SICKNESS!"
19. GIVE RELIGIOUS TRACTS TO EACH PASSENGER.
20. MEOW OCCASIONALLY
21. BET THE OTHER PASSENGERS YOU CAN FIT A QUARTER IN YOUR NOSE
22. FROWN AND MUTTER, "GOTTA GO! GOTTA GO!" THEN SIGH AND SAY "OOPS"
23. SHOW THE OTHER PASSENGERS A WOUND AND ASK IF IT LOOKS INFECTED.
24. SING "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB" WHILE CONTINUALLY PUSHING BUTTONS.
25. HOLLER "CHUTES AWAY!" WHENEVER THE ELEVATOR DESCENDS
26. WALK ON WITH A COOLER THAT SAYS "HUMAN HEAD" ON THE SIDE.
27. STARE AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE THEN ANNOUNCE "YOUR ONE OF THEM!" AND MOVE TO THE FAR CORNER OF THE ELEVATOR
28. BURP AND THEN SAY "MMM... TASTY"
29. LEAVE A BOX BETWEEN THE DOORS.
30. ASK EACH PASSENGER GETTING ON IF YOU CAN PUSH THE BUTTON FOR THEM.
31. WEAR A PUPPET ON YOUR HAND AND TALK TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS THROUGH IT.
32. START A SING ALONG
33. WHEN THE ELEVATOR IS SILENT, LOOK AROUND AND ASK, "IS THAT YOUR BEEPER?"
34. PLAY THE HARMONICA
35. SHADOW BOX
36. SAY "DING" AT EACH FLOOR
37. LEAN AGAINST THE BUTTON PANEL
38. SAY "I WONDER WHAT ALL THESE DO" THEN PUSH ALL THE RED BUTTONS
39. LISTEN TO THE ELEVATOR WALLS WITH A STETHOSCOPE
40. DRAW A LITTLE SQUARE ON THE FLOOR WITH CHALK AND ANNOUNCE THAT IS YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.
41. BRING ALONG A CHAIR
42. TAKE A BITE OF A SANDWICH AND ASK “WANNA SEE WHAT'S IN MY MOUTH?"
43. BLOW SPIT BUBBLES
44. PULL GUM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IN LONG STRINGS
45. ANNOUNCE IN A DEMONIC VOICE, "I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY!"
46. CARRY A BLANKET AND CLUTCH IT PROTECTIVELY
47. MAKE EXPLOSION NOISES WHENEVER SOMEONE PUSHES A BUTTON
48. WEAR "X-RAY" AND LEER SUGGESTIVELY AT THE OTHER PASSENGERS
49. STARE AT YOUR THUMB AND EXCLAIM "I THINK IT'S GETTING LARGER!"
50. IF ANYONE BRUSHES AGAINST YOU, RECOIL AND SHOUT "BAD TOUCH!"
51. BRING A WATER PISTOL AND SOAK EVERYONE’S SHOES
52. START BRUSHING OFF INVISIBLE BUGS SCREAMING "AUGHH! GET THEM OFF!"
53. CHALLENGE YOUR NEIGHBOR TO A TIC-TAC-TOE TOURNAMENT
54. LAUGH HYSTERICALLY FOR 5 SECONDS THEN GLARE AT THE OTHER PASSENGERS LIKE THEY ARE CRAZY
55. PAINT FACES WHILE RIDING AND OFFER TO DO IT TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS
56. MAKE CHALK DRAWINGS ON THE WALL
57. AS THE ELEVATOR GOES UP, JUMP VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN SCREAMING "DOWN! I SAID DOWN!"
58. CROUCH IN A CORNER AND GROWL AT EVERYONE WHO GETS ON
59. TRY TO GET A GAME OF "TWISTER" GOING
60. WRINKLE YOUR NOSE AND SMELL THE AIR REPEATEDLY, SNIFF AT YOUR NEIGHBOR, MAKE A DISGUSTED FROWN, THEN STEP AWAY
Here are some more.
1. CARRY ON A SEE-THROUGH CONTAINER OF SUGAR WITH THE WORD "COCAINE" WRITTEN ON IT.
2. SNIFF THE AIR AND SAY,"DID YOU HEAR THAT?"
3. TOUCH ANOTHER PASSENGER WITH WET HANDS AND SAY,"CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO PEE?"
4. TELL KNOCK KNOCK JOKES ON AN ELEVATOR.
5. GO INTO AN ELEVATOR WITH A DOCTERS SUIT ON AND SAY THAT YOU ARE DR Kevorkian’s KID.
6. ACT LIKE A RETARD AND DROOL ON YOUR NEIGHBOR.
7. START EATING YOUR LUNCH ON THE ELEVATOR, WHILE EATING START CHEWING YOUR LUNCH WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN, AND DROP FOOD ON THE GROUND, AND PICK IT UP AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE EATING IT.
8. WHEN YOU GET ON THE ELEVATOR, LOOK UP AT THE CEILING, AND START SLOWLY SPINNING AROUND, THEN WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT YOU ARE DOING SAY,"I'M LOOKING FOR THE BOMB!!!"
9. TWICH YOUR ARMS & LEGS VIOLENTLY, AT DIFFERENT TIMES, THEN PROCEED TO SAY "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT FATTY?"
10. STAND FACING THE CORNER AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE PEEING.
11. IF SOMEONE WALKS ON TO THE ELEVATOR SMOKING A CIGARET, AND HE STANDS NEXT TO YOU, START CAUGING, AND START SCREAMING, "AIR, AIR, I NEED SOME AIR!!!"
12. GO ON TO THE ELEVATO WITH ONE OF THOSE *BOUNCING BALLS* AND START BOUNCING ON PEOPLES FEET. (*the one for little kids, that have a handle on them, they are usually red, and like like a huge kickball.*)
13. BRING IN A HUGE BOOM BOX, AND PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC REALLY LOUD.
14. START STREET DANCING IN THE ELEVATOR.
15. BRING FAKE VOMIT, AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO HURL ON TO SOMEONES SHOES THEN, POOR ALL OF THE FAKE VOMIT ON TO THEIR SHOES.
16. HAVE A LITTLE MINI WAR IN THE ELEVATOR WITH YOUR FRIEND, WITH CAP GUNS.
17. ANNOUNCE TO ALL PASSENGERS, "I'M SURE YOU ALL ARE WONDERING WHY I CALLED YOU HERE..."
26 things to do in an elevator
1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space”.
60+ things to do in an Elevator!!
1. MAKE RACE CAR NOISES WHEN ANYONE GETS OFF OR ON.
2. BLOW YOUR NOSE AND OFFER TO SHOW THE CONTENTS TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS.
3. GRIMACE PAINFULLY WHILE SLAPPING YOUR FOREHEAD AND MUTTERING, "SHUT-UP, DANG IT, ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT-UP!"
4. WHISTLE THE FIRST SEVEN NOTES OF "IT'S A SMALL WORLD" INCESSANTLY.
5. SELL GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
6. ON A LONG ELEVATOR RIDE, SWAY SIDE-TO-SIDE AT THE NATURAL FREQUENCY OF THE ELEVATOR
7. SHAVE
8. CRACK OPEN YOUR PURSE OR BRIEFCASE WHILE PEERING INSIDE ASK, "GOT ENOUGH AIR IN THERE?"
9. OFFER NAME TAGS TO EVERYONE GETTING ON THE ELEVATOR. WHERE YOURS UP-SIDE-DOWN.
10. STAND SILENT AND MOTIONLESS IN THE CORNER WITHOUT GETTING OFF.
11. WHEN ARRIVING AT YOUR FLOOR, GRUNT AND STRAIN TO OPEN THE DOORS, AND WHEN THE OPEN MY THEMSELVES, ACT EMBARRASSED.
12. LEAN OVER TO ANOTHER PASSENGER AND WHISPER "NOOGIE PATROL IS COMING"
13. GREET EVERYONE WITH A WARM HANDSHAKE AND ASK THEM TO CALL YOU ADMIRAL.
14. ONE WORD: FLATULENCE!
15. ON THE HIGHEST FLOOR, HOLD THE DOOR OPEN AND DEMAND THAT IT STAY OPEN UNTIL YOU HEAR THE PENNY THAT YOU DROPPED DOWN THE SHAFT GO "PLINK" AT THE BOTTOM.
16. DO TAI CHI EXERCISES
17. STARE, GRINNING AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE THEN ANNOUNCE, "I'VE GOT NEW SOCKS ON!"
18. WHEN AT LEAST 8 PEOPLE ARE ON, MOAN FROM THE BACK, "NOT NOW! I'VE GOT MOTION SICKNESS!"
19. GIVE RELIGIOUS TRACTS TO EACH PASSENGER.
20. MEOW OCCASIONALLY
21. BET THE OTHER PASSENGERS YOU CAN FIT A QUARTER IN YOUR NOSE
22. FROWN AND MUTTER, "GOTTA GO! GOTTA GO!" THEN SIGH AND SAY "OOPS"
23. SHOW THE OTHER PASSENGERS A WOUND AND ASK IF IT LOOKS INFECTED.
24. SING "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB" WHILE CONTINUALLY PUSHING BUTTONS.
25. HOLLER "CHUTES AWAY!" WHENEVER THE ELEVATOR DESCENDS
26. WALK ON WITH A COOLER THAT SAYS "HUMAN HEAD" ON THE SIDE.
27. STARE AT ANOTHER PASSENGER FOR A WHILE THEN ANNOUNCE "YOUR ONE OF THEM!" AND MOVE TO THE FAR CORNER OF THE ELEVATOR
28. BURP AND THEN SAY "MMM... TASTY"
29. LEAVE A BOX BETWEEN THE DOORS.
30. ASK EACH PASSENGER GETTING ON IF YOU CAN PUSH THE BUTTON FOR THEM.
31. WEAR A PUPPET ON YOUR HAND AND TALK TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS THROUGH IT.
32. START A SING ALONG
33. WHEN THE ELEVATOR IS SILENT, LOOK AROUND AND ASK, "IS THAT YOUR BEEPER?"
34. PLAY THE HARMONICA
35. SHADOW BOX
36. SAY "DING" AT EACH FLOOR
37. LEAN AGAINST THE BUTTON PANEL
38. SAY "I WONDER WHAT ALL THESE DO" THEN PUSH ALL THE RED BUTTONS
39. LISTEN TO THE ELEVATOR WALLS WITH A STETHOSCOPE
40. DRAW A LITTLE SQUARE ON THE FLOOR WITH CHALK AND ANNOUNCE THAT IS YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.
41. BRING ALONG A CHAIR
42. TAKE A BITE OF A SANDWICH AND ASK “WANNA SEE WHAT'S IN MY MOUTH?"
43. BLOW SPIT BUBBLES
44. PULL GUM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IN LONG STRINGS
45. ANNOUNCE IN A DEMONIC VOICE, "I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY!"
46. CARRY A BLANKET AND CLUTCH IT PROTECTIVELY
47. MAKE EXPLOSION NOISES WHENEVER SOMEONE PUSHES A BUTTON
48. WEAR "X-RAY" AND LEER SUGGESTIVELY AT THE OTHER PASSENGERS
49. STARE AT YOUR THUMB AND EXCLAIM "I THINK IT'S GETTING LARGER!"
50. IF ANYONE BRUSHES AGAINST YOU, RECOIL AND SHOUT "BAD TOUCH!"
51. BRING A WATER PISTOL AND SOAK EVERYONE’S SHOES
52. START BRUSHING OFF INVISIBLE BUGS SCREAMING "AUGHH! GET THEM OFF!"
53. CHALLENGE YOUR NEIGHBOR TO A TIC-TAC-TOE TOURNAMENT
54. LAUGH HYSTERICALLY FOR 5 SECONDS THEN GLARE AT THE OTHER PASSENGERS LIKE THEY ARE CRAZY
55. PAINT FACES WHILE RIDING AND OFFER TO DO IT TO THE OTHER PASSENGERS
56. MAKE CHALK DRAWINGS ON THE WALL
57. AS THE ELEVATOR GOES UP, JUMP VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN SCREAMING "DOWN! I SAID DOWN!"
58. CROUCH IN A CORNER AND GROWL AT EVERYONE WHO GETS ON
59. TRY TO GET A GAME OF "TWISTER" GOING
60. WRINKLE YOUR NOSE AND SMELL THE AIR REPEATEDLY, SNIFF AT YOUR NEIGHBOR, MAKE A DISGUSTED FROWN, THEN STEP AWAY
Here are some more.
1. CARRY ON A SEE-THROUGH CONTAINER OF SUGAR WITH THE WORD "COCAINE" WRITTEN ON IT.
2. SNIFF THE AIR AND SAY,"DID YOU HEAR THAT?"
3. TOUCH ANOTHER PASSENGER WITH WET HANDS AND SAY,"CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO PEE?"
4. TELL KNOCK KNOCK JOKES ON AN ELEVATOR.
5. GO INTO AN ELEVATOR WITH A DOCTERS SUIT ON AND SAY THAT YOU ARE DR Kevorkian’s KID.
6. ACT LIKE A RETARD AND DROOL ON YOUR NEIGHBOR.
7. START EATING YOUR LUNCH ON THE ELEVATOR, WHILE EATING START CHEWING YOUR LUNCH WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN, AND DROP FOOD ON THE GROUND, AND PICK IT UP AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE EATING IT.
8. WHEN YOU GET ON THE ELEVATOR, LOOK UP AT THE CEILING, AND START SLOWLY SPINNING AROUND, THEN WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT YOU ARE DOING SAY,"I'M LOOKING FOR THE BOMB!!!"
9. TWICH YOUR ARMS & LEGS VIOLENTLY, AT DIFFERENT TIMES, THEN PROCEED TO SAY "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT FATTY?"
10. STAND FACING THE CORNER AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE PEEING.
11. IF SOMEONE WALKS ON TO THE ELEVATOR SMOKING A CIGARET, AND HE STANDS NEXT TO YOU, START CAUGING, AND START SCREAMING, "AIR, AIR, I NEED SOME AIR!!!"
12. GO ON TO THE ELEVATO WITH ONE OF THOSE *BOUNCING BALLS* AND START BOUNCING ON PEOPLES FEET. (*the one for little kids, that have a handle on them, they are usually red, and like like a huge kickball.*)
13. BRING IN A HUGE BOOM BOX, AND PLAY COUNTRY MUSIC REALLY LOUD.
14. START STREET DANCING IN THE ELEVATOR.
15. BRING FAKE VOMIT, AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO HURL ON TO SOMEONES SHOES THEN, POOR ALL OF THE FAKE VOMIT ON TO THEIR SHOES.
16. HAVE A LITTLE MINI WAR IN THE ELEVATOR WITH YOUR FRIEND, WITH CAP GUNS.
17. ANNOUNCE TO ALL PASSENGERS, "I'M SURE YOU ALL ARE WONDERING WHY I CALLED YOU HERE..."
Let Me Touch Your Heart Today - For You
You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseball game across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen.
As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None.
From every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.
North. South. East. West.
Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy.. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.
Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you must.
Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.
Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:
I am the Alpha and the Omega.
The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters. Forget stock markets and school reports. Sales meetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy. All that mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.
**Please let me know the exact time you read this. It is mystical--honest.**
(When this email was forwarded - you would put the date and time in the subject line).
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked: My child, what is your greatest wish for today?
I responded: 'Lord please; take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much'.
The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.
This message works on the day you receive it.
To some it may sound dumb, but the person who sent this to me was impressed with its timing. Let us see if it is true.
ANGELS EXIST, but sometimes, since they don't all have wings we call them FRIENDS, SUCH AS YOU.
**Put the Date and Time in the 'Subject' area when you read it.*
June 2008
As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None.
From every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.
North. South. East. West.
Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy.. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.
Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you must.
Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.
Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:
I am the Alpha and the Omega.
The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters. Forget stock markets and school reports. Sales meetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy. All that mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.
**Please let me know the exact time you read this. It is mystical--honest.**
(When this email was forwarded - you would put the date and time in the subject line).
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked: My child, what is your greatest wish for today?
I responded: 'Lord please; take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much'.
The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.
This message works on the day you receive it.
To some it may sound dumb, but the person who sent this to me was impressed with its timing. Let us see if it is true.
ANGELS EXIST, but sometimes, since they don't all have wings we call them FRIENDS, SUCH AS YOU.
**Put the Date and Time in the 'Subject' area when you read it.*
June 2008
The Gullibility Factor test
Click Here to take the test below:
In this simple, anonymous test, you can assess your own Gullibility Factor (GF) score. Simply answer TRUE or FALSE to the following questions, click SUBMIT, and your score will be instantly calculated and displayed along with an explanation and the correct answers.
Your GF score will tell you whether you're a free-thinking individual, or a total mind slave. Please answer all questions, or your score will be artificially low.
This test was authored by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, primary author at naturalnews.com. This test is offered for entertainment purposes only.
In this simple, anonymous test, you can assess your own Gullibility Factor (GF) score. Simply answer TRUE or FALSE to the following questions, click SUBMIT, and your score will be instantly calculated and displayed along with an explanation and the correct answers.
Your GF score will tell you whether you're a free-thinking individual, or a total mind slave. Please answer all questions, or your score will be artificially low.
This test was authored by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, primary author at naturalnews.com. This test is offered for entertainment purposes only.
Time Passes
*Time passes.*
*Life happens. *
*Distance separates. *
*Children grow up. *
*Jobs come and go. *
*Love waxes and wanes. *
*Men don't do
what they're supposed to do. *
*Hearts break. *
*Parents die. *
*Colleagues forget favors. *
*Careers end. *
* *
*BUT
Sisters are there, no matter how much time
and how many miles are
between you. *
*A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her. *
*When you have to walk that lonesome valley *
*and you have to walk it by yourself, *
*the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, *
*cheering you on, *
*praying for you, *
*pulling for you, *
*intervening on your behalf, *
*and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. *
*Sometimes, *
*they will even break the rules and walk beside you, *
*or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, *
*daughters, *
*granddaughters, *
*daughters-in-law, *
*sisters, *
*sisters-in-law, *
*mothers, *
*grandmothers, *
*aunties, *
*nieces, *
*cousins *
*and extended family all bless our life.
When we began this adventure
called womanhood, *
*we had no idea of the incredible *
*joys or sorrows that lay ahead, *
*nor did we know how much we would need each other. *
*Every day, we need each other still. **
*help make your life meaningful. **
November 2007
From The Mouth of Babes!!
July 2012
This is one of those forwards that go around and around. The last time I received this email this time with cute pictures and the words much bigger! The original post just had the words and no pictures. So I added the pictures with the bigger words, cause it was cuter! Changed post on April 27,2015 added the pictures. The above picture with the ducks came yet from another email a few months later in 2012 with that one picture added!!
Photos of the new generation!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now, she's hitting the bottle.
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
February 2008
Tough Love vs. Spanking . . . .
. . . . Good Argument
Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
April 2008
Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
Your Friend
I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.
April 2008
Relationships - Kids Wisdom!!
Written by kids . . . .
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
September 2007
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