Sunday, November 10, 2013

Puns For Educated Minds


    1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

4. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

5. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum blownapart.

7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; l'll go on a head."

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

16. A backward poet writes inverse.

17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

17A. When cannibals ate a doctor, they got a taste of their own medicine.

18. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

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